And then, she cried

Standing on the balcony of his house and staring at NH 45 was Prathap. He had completed his college and was awaiting his call letter. It had ended yesterday; waiting started yesterday. His reason behind this waiting was something really a reason. He no more missed anyone; forgot promises; cried a lot for missing his college. He was practical enough, not to cry for people who would be with him till the end. He didn't believe in anyone's promise. He had no one to live for, now and here on.

His home, this balcony where he stood, to watch 100s of buses and motor vehicles moving, polluting the air behind them, was the only thing on crust for him. His parents always talked against his will and he didn't like them. They told it was for his good. But he didn't feel so.

“Anu, (that was how Prathap Anirudh was called at home) come, lets go there”

“Lets be here. I dont want to come with you. I know where you are going...”

But protests only led to tears. The waterpower sometimes took Prathap's heart off and at times it was a voice of power. He had no other go but go and obey. From simple things to life deciding factors, it was this way.

“I want to read B.A. Journalism”

“u've got 93%...”

“93.8%” corrected his mom.

“Ya. And you want to do B.A. Are you a fool??? Apply for B.E. Counselling”

“I want to be writer...”

“you can become a writer, even after B.E. But, B.A.can never give you engineering knowledge”

“Thats the curse of the country now. Engineering... You can study four years and serve as anything in this country. What a course of study? Foolish...”

“Thats enough. Get the application for B.E. Tomorrow, understood?” There was finality in the words.

He had joined a good engineering college in the state. But now his percentage was 77... 77.46 to be exact. But, all this wasn't his problem. Now he stood on the balcony, with tears filling in his eyes and 4 stories in mind without a climax for all four of them.

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It was her third year and with five semesters gone. It was the time for all these inter-college shining. It was then, this group of debaters and personnels strong in co-curriculars joined hands to form a team. She had seen Prathap in 100 places around the campus. He was quite a good cricket player and good at writing and quiz. He had a lot of certificates in all those inter-school cultural. But the way she saw and adored him did not exceed 5 minutes. Well, 500 minutes weren't enough.

His protruding adam's apple- well, three quarters of an inch out of his throat- and his laugh-not smile. Each time she had thought, “Why am i seeing a lot of him?”

Then one day, “Hi”, she was the first to speak...

“hi, whats your name?” There was a pause, as if he sounded he alredy knew her name.

“...” it had started... With exactly fourteen months to go between this day and their day of exit from college, she had got a great feeling from this friendship, that she could not from any of the past relationship.

She knew her limits, and kept her mind free from any worries. But, Prathap disturbed her, and when this group was formed, Prathap was disturbed by her. It was then she started to talk to a boy so young and cool. The other males she had talked to would not exced 10. A girls school and a college with zero interaction with staffs. She had no one to talk to and in this college, opposite gender interaction among people in the same class room was low.

Days went by and disturbance became, obviously, the happiness in friendship. They talked for hours and shared everything life gave them. Days went by...

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“will you marry me?” the pause after 'you' showed his love on her. That pause told her many things. Then he lied, “I don't love you. But, I'd like to live this life with you, grow old with you”

She stared in disbelief at his words.

“But... but, i never thought that way. I always looked into you as a good friend”

“If not today, then when? I don't know if i could see you hereafter. I had no feelings for you, got it just hours back. This separation, that will hurt”

“I like you Prathap...” If a 'but' was added after that, Prathap would have killed himself. But, he quickly took over.

“Now stop! I know that. I want to hold your hands forever. I want to be with you! I'm afraid of losing you”

“This happens to everyone of us. Sit down and think. What you tell can never happen. How do you think this could? My family...”

“Don't you love me?”

The sound had considerably gone down, and now a silence took over. She took over.

“Love? mm... It has more than one meaning in my lexican”

“Now, take it, the love that ends up in marriage. Do you love me?”

“No! I love you some other way. The love that lasts forever. I will not be able

to get it from a husband, Prathap”

“Now, I don't fear losing you. But, everytime when the quesion of life comes in front of me, its you in front of me, in the form of answer. I want to live it with, you as my wife”

“Prathap, understand. A life of tears and loneliness. Do you think all this will be adjustable and avoidable? Can you live alone in a house with only me beside for everything? Don't you want any one else?”

“You can't think this way even before it had started”

“I don't want it to start. Put a fullstop to it. I always longed for a friend like you. Caring and affectionate. But, do a little thinking. I'll be beside you as a good friend always, but never your wife”

“Have you got syphilis?!!”

Prathap sounded serious. He was hard at it. He walked away and she started sobbing; tears filled her eyes.

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16... 17... 18... she kept looking at her mobile. Now, the number of missed calls was 47... 48...increasing by 2 in a minute. She lay awake till 2, ”Why did i don't want him?” She slept off. 74 no answers and a long press of red button was all Prathap did.

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“The number you are trying to reach is currently switched off” She had tried the whole day. “Thats it”, she wept for an evening.

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