Saturday, March 13, 2010

Thats what is Oracle

It is 9:26… I entered the auditorium, which is decorated with a background, which clearly says that it is a function called ORACLE X. The chairs were arranged properly. Auditorium is almost full. They are playing tunes of ‘academy award winner’ from the album ‘taal’. Mr. Prasanna Moorthy is shouting for more population in the almost full Audi, so that at least 5 clap out 300. As usual it started off with a wrong announcement. “Students who do project and paper presentation have a breakfast”. The mistake was with the hall number. Agenda said inauguration function timing as 9-11, it is already 9.33 and it has not yet started. The stage is set with 6 chairs and 6 Kinley water bottles worth rupees 72. Why all this? No one would drink a drop of it. Is placing water bottles from which no one would drink called hospitality??? ‘Syscom’ is now playing tunes from ‘Indian’. Everywhere one turns to, it was Lijosh. He was really busy making this a success… Well, before the screen works…

It is 09:45… 105 minutes since I woke up and 19 minutes since I entered this auditorium. Nothing is happening here. Everyone, but, is busy walking from syscom desk to the rear door of the auditorium. It’s 09:49… “Senthaazhmpoovil vandhaadum thendral…” But the stage still holds the 6 chairs and those bottles… everything untouched and undisturbed. At last… no don’t hurry up, chief guest has not yet come, he is a little busy man… at last, the bottle count reduces to 5. Now, 6 tumblers appear and they get filled with the 6th bottles water. Good job miss. Meena Priya…
Oh!.. Now its 09:55 and they finally told,”good morning one and all”. As usual, the entire crowd is tired and the MOC that has no life starts off with a language that very few identify is English(Usage of uncommon words of English is popular in GCT- I request the government not to delete portion “the art of public speaking” which in-fact is the only candid English essay in the +2 books… Dear seniors and friends, ‘Lucidity makes your speech go places’). If any of you reader were in the Audi, answer me sincerely… Were you able to understand what they were speaking in the morning from the emcee desk???

The highlighter was that dignitaries went on to the dais, and not even a single hand that was already there or that Prasanna Moorthy called clapped. Again only the emcee desk gave them a warm welcome, well off their voice. I suggest, the next time give proper instruction to the 98% population of the Audi to clap when required or when it’s ‘essential’. The unoccupied chairs got its occupants. The HODs, General Secretaries, Principal and the person who made us wait this long- Our chief guest. Even then these emcee desk guys don’t give up… This time the pity is, even the ‘so-called’ dignitaries were not listening…

Its 10:02 and all stood up for the prayer song, which alone made some sense among so many things the emcee desk spoke. But, this time singers got it wrong. It wasn’t a prayer song. It was the “Thamizh thaaai vaazhthu”. Then Kuththu velakku ethunaanga, sorry sorry… Kuthu velakku thirikku neruppu vachaanga. I don’t know if the HOD and we have any connection… The emcee desk says that she is the secret of our success…

Then on it were speeches of every person on the stage… First it was EIE HOD. Her bold start in Tamil was great, cool and commanding…. She spoke in good Thamizh and it was the best welcome address anyone would have heard in months. Hats off…

Then EEE HOD spoke. He tried his luck in Thamizh. But, it didn’t get rite. “Sir, sodhappiteengalae… therinja baashaila pesa vendiyadhu dhaane? Oru vendu goal sir… Ini Thamizh la media pechu pesaadheenga. Yaarukkum, edhum puriyala… Kai thattunadhu ellaam kelamba sonnadhukkaana pugazhaaram. Varuthathudan nu cultural pathi sirichutae solreenga? Konjam serious a varutha pattirukkalaam. Sir got over with his speech. Uhhhh!!!!
Magazine release. Indha varusham magazine oda oru cd mutrilum ilavasam… appa magazine??? Ada, adhu eppavumae free… Kungumam paravala!!! CD la enna??? Nithya… cha, Nithya madam nadathuna classes ah??? By this time, chief guest also got tired and wiped off his face with the hand-kerchief he had…

Principal started off, and spoke a set of high quality jokes… To mention some… i) idhu oru vithyaaasamaana function nu nenekkuraen ii)EEEIEA neraya symposium last year la nadantirukkaanga. Avungalukku staff support neraya irukku iii) indha symposium moolam naattirkum, kalloorikkum pala perumaigal. Idhukkappuram MOC thanks vera sonnaanga… uhhh!!! Mudiyala…

EEE GS started off the best among the previous three… but, as he gathered pace, he went at a very high speed and was more idiotic than the emcee… He gave an intro about our chief guest and he welcomed everyone once again… I don’t know why he welcomed every one again…
Mr.Thirumoorthy gave a good class on power system management which, I don’t know if Rajeswari madam was benefited with. No one was listening!! All were tired, and by now, it was time for snacks distribution- the much awaited event of the morning session. He had good knowledge but no common sense. He is the one TCS is looking for… Sir, run away… emcee struck me again. They said it was impressive. My mind voice said,”buddies, he was giving no inaugural speech here”. Then emcee got into their top form. I think they had no written document for this line. They made two grammar errors in one line. 80 stationery kits were distributed to poor and needy. A good deed… hats off… then stage la maathi maathi momento kuduthukutaanga. Lucky, emcee had the list of who gives who!!!

Then it was the EIE GS who spoke a vote of thanks. Rajinikanth would have been better on stage! But, the way he put his speech was really good. Then the dignitaries went off the dais.. ahaah, two are sleeping, sitting just in front of me. What an inaugural function… When everyone thought it was over….

EEEIEA welcomed its own members once again. And there was a welcome dance. They were really welcoming every person in the auditorium. Real beauty, and all those who were in cloud nine after all this, were thinking of moving out. It was a classical delight for a western beat. I think the music was again the academy award winner’s…

The moment the emcee announced, “the next event is paper presentation” there were enough people to keep the auditorium silent… I wasn’t one among them….